Most people come to a yoga class to discover an altered state.  Nothing too mind-bending usually (!), but a more relaxed mind and body, a break from our perpetual inner talk, a positive outlook, and so on: and these are all gentle changes in consciousness.  When we feel ‘better’, which usually means more relaxed, our brain waves slow down, moving from beta waves to alpha waves (which are generally associated with relaxation and receptivity), even slowing to the deep sleep wavelengths of theta and delta waves during certain deep relaxation practices and meditation (see below).  We are very likely to experience these changes as profound, gentle and very positive alterations to our usual state of awareness.  Moreover, once we know this state – and many of us do not at all before we are taught! – it is easier to return to it.

When we talk about altered states in yoga we can of course go much further.  The word yoga means union and if any of us ever aspire for that experience – union with universal consciousness, becoming ‘self-realised’ – we have to be prepared for immense shifts in consciousness and all manor of altered states en route, including visions, psychic perception and so on.  None of which are, or should ever be, be the aim of your average yoga class!

But whatever our intention when we practice yoga, feeling better or the ultimate union of self-realisation, the starting point has to be the same: relaxation!  Relaxation, real relaxation, is a very profound experience in it’s own right and one many of us do not know too well before we discover a good yoga class and teacher.  It almost goes without saying that real relaxation is hugely beneficial for pregnant women and their unborn babies, as well as for parents of young children (and everybody else of course!).

What is relaxation?

When do you feel relaxed?  How do you go about relaxing?  Most of us are not taught how to relax.  When we are stressed we put the TV on, call friends, search the internet, have a drink or two, perhaps resort to sleeping pills or anti-depressants.  We have no idea what it feels like to really let go.  We are often under pressure from outside (such as from our bosses, our workload, our partners and so on); and under pressure from the inside, from past experiences (perhaps the expectations our parents had for us, things our teachers said, and a whole lot more).  We may feel the need to prove ourselves all the time, feel in competition with one another and we don’t know how to fully trust ourselves, each other or the benevolent universe.  So we are very, very tense!

An experience of being really relaxed changes all that.  Real relaxation is what makes even the most habitually angry and defensive person, such as some of those we have worked with in prisons, sit up with a beaming smile and use words like lovely, happy and peaceful.  It is what allows a tired and stressed mother to rediscover feeling joyful and loving and ready to carry on caring!  It is what allows us to unlock our creativity, feelings of happiness and want to connect to one another again.  It is a big change in perception and it’s inexpensive to learn, free to practice and healthy!

Sleep is good, but it doesn’t always go as deep as real relaxation.  We can wake up still feeling tense and tired.  Real relaxation is when we let go of our busy, critical intellect and allow other layers of our personality (the subconscious and unconscious) to spontaneously express themselves.  It is a very creative state: discoveries and realisations occur.  We get perspective: the things we were worried about suddenly seem small and manageable, even irrelevant, and can be let go of.  We also access deeper layers of our personality and in this creative state effective personal transformation  can begin.  In a deeply relaxed state we can even perceive deeper spiritual truths that can profoundly change our relationship with our self and our life.

So how do we do it?

Yoga Nidra

Over sixteen years ago, I was very lucky.  I experienced a sudden spontaneous moment of very deep relaxation that completely changed my life.  I was in an unusually open and receptive, relaxed state (unusual for that time, believe me!) when someone I was with very skilfully invited me to accept myself.  Very suddenly I changed!  I experienced waves of energy leaving my chest and after this a new joy and acceptance settled upon me.  Life seemed – permanently – much better, as if I had suddenly entered a new universe in which trust and connection were possible.  After this experience I sought out a spiritual path and eventually became a yoga teacher.

The practice I found which has helped, more than any other, to preserve this positive state of mind is called Yoga Nidra.  At The Yoga Home we are so happy to be trained to teach this amazing practice, which has its origins in ancient Tantric texts and was brought to the modern world by Swami Satyananda.  He describes the practice as ‘the science of relaxation’.  We teach Yoga Nidra in our pregnancy and general classes and our workshops (and in optimistic snippets in the postnatal and toddler classes!)  It is probably our most popular practice!

Yoga Nidra is a deep relaxation technique, practiced from lying down, which takes the practitioner swiftly (within 30 minutes) into an altered state of consciousness.  Sometimes it is compared to the state of hypnosis, though it has differences, most notably in that in Yoga Nidra the teacher never makes suggestions and has no interest in altering the character or habits of the student.

The practice is designed to release muscular, emotional and mental tension.  Muscular tension is related to our body and nervous system, emotional tension is accumulated through the repression of feelings, and mental tension is the product of our mind’s fantasies and confusions.  When we feel sad or angry for example, it is not usually because of some superficial cause that we may blame at the time, but an accumulation of mental tensions based on various experiences we have had over a lifetime.

Using a practice like Yoga Nidra to let go of our tension is a very profound process of transformation.  Sometimes we feel very happy and blissful after practicing, other times we may acknowledge certain feelings or experiences we had buried.  Almost always we feel better than we did before – because each time we practice we release a little more of the tension that prevents us from feeling really happy.  We let go of our critical intellectual conscious attention and get in touch with the deeper layers of our personality; we rediscover our creativity, and remember how to feel peaceful and at ease.

Learning to relax is a very important and life changing start, but it is just that, a start.  What comes along as we learn to relax and let go is the beginning of a much deeper journey of self knowledge which has the power to release our full potential.  What we bring to yoga classes inside ourselves doesn’t matter; any starting place is good.  We can then begin to experience the power of relaxation and the change this can bring into our lives.

You can download our pregnancy yoga nidra from itunes (see link on homepage); and watch this space for more yoga nidra recordings coming soon!  To buy good yoga nidra recordings you can visit www.sycnottingham.com or www.syclondon.com

My daughter’s birth was liberating and joyful, though it followed a pregnancy which was often anxious and fearful.  I ask myself if the worry paved the way, at least in part, for the very happy birth (birth story below), and if accepting our anxieties in pregnancy is important preparation for birth and motherhood.

Yoga practice allows us to develop the aspect of our being we call the ‘witness’: it is a state of  awareness and acceptance of all we experience.  Developing the witness inside us means we can face and release difficult emotions, which arise even if we have been consciously working with ourselves for years, and perhaps especially at such a life-changing time as pregnancy.  Developing the witness allows us to accept that the difficulties are an important part of our journey, and are the keys to letting go and positive change.

Perhaps deep down most of us have similar fears during pregnancy.  Like many other pregnant women I was anxious about coping with a new baby, about the impact of a new baby on my older child, about my emotional and physical vulnerability, and about labour.  During this time in my pregnancy I was fortunate to know that it is healthy, beneficial and safe to embrace these difficult emotional spaces in pregnancy. ‘Worry is the work of pregnancy’ I had been firmly told.  I also discovered a therapeutic book called Birthing from Within by Pam England which encourages women to prepare for labour by acknowledging and releasing their fears.  She encourages women to draw, keep diaries and talk out their worries.  Worry and fear right through to terror are very common states in pregnant women; Pam England believes that if we work with them we have the opportunity to profoundly prepare and change ourselves, open ourselves out and free ourselves of baggage so that we may more fully and successfully enjoy birth and motherhood.

The practice of yoga and meditation sheds light on our inner state and helps us to cope with it.  We become more aware of and truthfully acknowledge our emotions, and we learn how to release those that are impediments.  Using certain yogic techniques proved hugely helpful for me to facilitate the letting go of difficult emotions.  Of all the breathing techniques we teach, the golden thread breath is most often mentioned by women after birth as the thing that helped the most, and this practice can be done in pregnancy as preparation for labour and as a technique for letting go of anxiety any time.  Breathing in deeply through the nose and out through a small space between the lips is simple but with mental focus is very powerful.  You concentrate on the uplifting, energising quality of inhalation and the quality of release with the out breath, consciously letting go of fear, tension, emotional difficulty and physical sensation.  The breath becomes an anchor for staying in a calm, safe mental space.  Sound can be added; deep, rhythmic vowel sounds are most effective for calming and steadying the mind, soothing the body and, we presume, reassuring baby too.

Lying down for twenty minutes with a guided Yoga Nidra, either in the yoga class or at home with a recording, is a profoundly effective method for releasing fears in the run up to labour and motherhood.  Each time you practice, though the conscious attention may have drifted and you can’t remember anything afterwards (!), a little more has been let go of and a calmer state exists.  In a gently altered and relaxed state (the brain waves slowed to a deep sleep pattern) the critical intellect is less powerful and subconscious material is free to filter up and out, often almost unnoticed. (See our link to iTunes to buy ‘yoga nidra for pregnancy’)

Regular practice of asana (movement and posture), integrated with breath awareness, releases all sorts of physical and mental tension; humming breath (bhramari) and ujjayi breath are very soothing pranayamas (breathing practices) for the expectant mum and very likely the baby inside; heart-womb meditation helps us connect gently to our baby and there are countless other practices taught in our pregnancy yoga classes which are deeply beneficial for letting go of anxiety and tension.

Just before I was ready for labour, a few days perhaps, my mind cleared.  My subsequent experience in birthing my daughter was joyful because the whole labour was, I believe, blissfully without tension or fear.   This is the birth story I wrote afterwards.  (I would firstly like to acknowledge that this is not a first labour, that I was also fortunate in many ways, that my baby was in an optimum position and that I was also well prepared for birth through yoga techniques.)

“Before I went to bed I knew that my baby was soon to be born… mild contractions were coming all evening and as I rocked on the ball I felt prepared and calm.  At some point in the early morning I woke up in established labour, perhaps about four o’clock.  I was delighted that I had had some sleep and felt energised and ready.  This is just the way I hoped to feel at the beginning and I felt very confident now.  Baby was in an optimum position and I had been visualising the release of birth for weeks.  ‘Three hours’ kept coming to me: this will be the length of the labour: swift, just three hours.

I woke Ameet, while on all fours on the bed, feeling the strength of the contraction.  This is it, I said.  He got up, and we left Ro sleeping.

Downstairs I settled myself into the sitting room, soft cushions under my knees and my arms around the ball.  I was comfortable, and I just dived into the rhythm of labour.  One contraction at a time, very calm, and using the breath I had used throughout Rohan’s labour.  I voiced “aaaaaahhhh” with every exhalation.  I was distantly aware of Ameet’s business: calling Nicky – both my friend and midwife, calling Avi my father in law to collect Ro, setting up the birthing pool.  But I was content on my own: really, wonderfully confident this time.  All would be well, plenty of energy, no worries, mentally clear.  Just the breath – aaaaaaahhh – slow and releasing.

The contractions swelled rapidly.  They were not even, sometimes a very intense contraction would blast me and I used my voice to make it through.  My voiced exhalations were very loud and sometimes forced.  Owww I felt, almost can’t make it. But then a softer contraction would follow, not so bad, I am okay again.  My position was always the right one in this labour, I just stayed rocking on the ball.

When Nicky arrived she was a gentle familiar presence, very trusted,  and I was uninterrupted.  I didn’t want to be touched or helped this time, just left alone, because I was safe and I knew exactly where I was in the journey of birth.  Okay, safe, fine.  I had cleared so much fear and dread of this birth in the preceding months, through hard anxious graft, and the results were amazing.

After Nicky’s arrival things moved rapidly.  Suddenly I connected to the visualisation I had practiced before: the waves, riding above them with every breath, through every contraction.  It made beautiful sense.  I saw the dark waves rising and sinking and I rode above them.  The harder contractions were the very stormy waves, wild and almost insurmountable, but I made it.

Now I couldn’t stand up.  The pool was ready: they encouraged me to move.  “No I can’t stand”.  Nicky attached knee pads and I crawled.  In the kitchen, at the pool, I stood for a moment in the brief space between contractions.  The urge to bear down was growing, as I stepped into the pool.

Ameet asked “is it nice?” I felt the warm soothing water on me.  Nicky helped me take my top off.  I hardly wanted to speak and didn’t care if I had clothes or not.  “It’s good” I said.

A few seconds later the most overwhelming sensation of my life took me.  I began to yell louder and louder.  It was tremendous.  I couldn’t register it as pain: it was too much to comprehend at all.  I couldn’t understand; I was blown away by the primal power of this thing that had taken me.  “what’s happening Nicky? What’s happening?”  I was crying.

“The baby’s coming…” she said, and “you’ve just given birth to the head”.

She was born into the water in the next contraction, my beautiful, delightful daughter.  I felt ecstatic: it had been a beautiful birth, I had loads of energy left.  It was a happy, happy moment.  We named her straight away, Mala, and she breastfed confidently and decisively.  It had all taken about three hours.  Magic.

I still feel that she exerted a great influence on her birth.  If it was a dialogue between her and me, then the clarity, the decisiveness, the confidence, the calm of it were elements of her nature, strongly expressed in her birth.

Amazing, wonderful, healing and liberating.  I was flying on happy hormones for months.”

I started my training to teach postnatal yoga when Rohan was six weeks old – very early days for a new mum – and so all the experiences I was asked to write about were very real and fresh.

Here’s a reflective account I wrote when Ro was thirteen weeks old, about how my yoga background (of over ten years by then) helped me at that time.  Mainly though the piece is about the emotional journey of the postnatal period.

“Rohan was born thirteen weeks ago.  I’m trying to cast my mind back to the beginning, to the day he was born, and already the journey seems enormous and somehow unfathomable.  I think my mind has changed!  I don’t reflect on my life and feelings the way I used to; every moment is what it is: here, now and then gone.  I’m living more in the present than before and every day of this learning curve of being a mother is tumultuous and unpredictable and involving.  I am also very thankful for the yoga training that allows me to accept the moment for what it is and not struggle to improve it.  This acceptance (which isn’t always there believe me!) helps me through nights where I don’t know if I will be given four hours of unbroken sleep or half an hour, and on days where precious friends have come to visit us in our new city and I spend all the time comforting my crying baby.

Instead of reading lots of books on how to do this new thing, motherhood, ‘right’, I trust in myself and my baby.  Again, yoga has trained me to do this because I have learned that an intellectual, thought led base isn’t the only one for life.  I know that intuition and heart can lead the way too, and when they guide I find there is less struggle and more faith that things are good and right.  My baby is good and getting on fine and so am I.  I believe this even when the house is in a mess and I haven’t slept and nothing can get done.

How could I think for a second that I could be in control of anything now anyway?  Rohan’s rhythms have overcome mine, or perhaps I mean we are in synch – most of the time.  I don’t really know where ‘I’ am anymore: I am best off abandoning this notion altogether!

I feel that my life, if it can be likened to a thread, has been cut and a new, different thread stitched to the previous one.  There is a sudden dramatic cutting off of the old life and a new one born.  Because we moved to a new city a month before Rohan  was born this is a total experience.  I can’t even walk down the roads I knew.  It is a mindblowing change and I can’t say I have processed it fully yet.

The physical impact of labour has faded now, but it was really intense for a few months.  I was shocked by the enormity of labour, the exhaustion and the fact of having a baby!  Every time I closed my eyes I saw my baby’s gorgeous little face and thought ‘is he really really real? Has this happened?’.  The new responsibility was wonderful and overwhelming – I put yoga nidra cds on almost every time I fed and used the practise to help me rest, process, revive.

The discomfort of the immediate postpartum period was more than I had imagined.  I kept thinking ‘how heroic women are!  How come nobody ever told me about this?  How can any woman do this twice?!’  My perineum had several second degree tears and was full of stitches as well as being swollen like a football.  I couldn’t walk for long for a few weeks because of the pressure and stitches.  I had a cough, and every time I coughed I wet the bed.  So I spent a lot of time (trying) sahajoli mudra (contraction of the urethra), as well as ashwini mudra (contraction of the anus) and moola bandha (contraction towards the cervix).  Very little movement was possible!

I began to practise lying on my tummy.  This was wonderful.  My core strength had gone and I began the most tentative backward bends.  After a day or two I suddenly discovered abdominal breathing and it felt amazing to reclaim that space of my body.

My homebirth midwives were good and their daily visits for the first week provided us with our basic support and grounding in an unfamiliar place.  My attitude to my body was more unselfconscious: after a few weeks I was still quite happy to receive midwives sitting on the sofa without any pants on.

Rohan took to breastfeeding very well while I bore the soreness of my nipples and the nerve jangling pain of the initial let down.  He taught himself to latch on well while lying in my arms and on the bed (I love the latter and so does he).  I also got backache because I fed him without paying attention to my posture: for the first week his crying made me feel desperate to get him on my breast and I had no thoughts about my own body.  After a few weeks I was calm enough to rectify the bad posture and the feeding became comfortable and magical: a beautiful calm time for us both to bond and enjoy.  Also, for me (and him?) golden time for thought or meditation.  I always look forward to feeds.

Since these early weeks I feel more grounded and less shocked.  We are making room in our life for a third person and coming to terms with the fact that he is here to stay.  It is quite beautiful to have him here!’